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Long John Peter (Family Guy)

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Long John Peter (Family Guy)
One of the rare cases when the title of an episode means nothing in the end.
Series: Family Guy
Part of Season: 6
Episode Number: 12
Air Date: May 4, 2008
Writer: Wellesley Wild
Director: Dominic Polcino
Previous episode: The Former Life of Brian
Next episode: Love, Blactually

Long John Peter is the twelfth and final episode of the sixth season of Family Guy. The episode guest stars Amanda Bynes as Anna.


It's a pirate's life for Peter when he gets a pet parrot. But after raising hell in Quahog and terrorizing the neighbors, Peter accidentally kills his beloved pet. Meanwhile, Chris goes with Brian to the vet and falls for the lovely intern Anna.

Bad Qualities

  1. This episode is another early example of Peter's flanderization, as he acts even more childish than he already was by stealing a parrot from the vet and pretends to be a pirate, he is also extremely unlikable for misinforming Chris bad relationship advice that he should treat his girlfriend Anna horrible for no reason, which causes her to break up with Chris, and Peter gets off scot-free.
    • He talks down Meg and controls her future saying that she'll gain weight and write fan fiction, rather than let her be a vet like she wants.
    • He tells Chris that if he wants a relationship with a girl to work, he shouldn't treat her like a human-being. Which is misogynistic.
    • The last seven minutes of the episode where Peter tries to help Chris find a new girlfriend by practicing a date with sock puppets, humming Down Under by Men at Work are all horrible attempts at comedy to where the scene where Chris reconciles with Anna is less than a minute long and the episode ends there. Thus making the last seven minutes with Peter and Chris unfunny filler and a waste of time.
  2. Misleading Title: Despite being called Long John Peter, it only has about four minutes of pirate action which involves the pirates sieging Mort's pharmacy and attacking a British driver, and that's it; The rest of the episode is dedicated to Chris and Anna, which is uneventful and boring.
  3. This was the third of four episodes in a row dealing with a relationship, by this point too it had already become tiresome and tedious to watch these kinds of episodes.
  4. While scene with the bullfrog and Peter was funny, it drags on for far too long and it also appears to be the first of many running scenes where Peter struggles with something for a long time in the episode.
  5. The episode became a Brian torture episode near the end, and it's not funny or satisfying to watch because Brian didn't do anything wrong, and it doesn't help that this was pre-flanderized Brian.
  6. Chris is very unlikable in this episode because he constantly insulted people just for the sake of presenting himself as a “bad boy”, uses the b-word on Anna unwarranted, ruins her movie ticket, and assaults Brian with a chair just to give himself the excuse to see Anna again. Chris is not punished for his actions.
    • Chris at one point, while trying to get dating advice, calls Joe a "two wheeled monster" causing Joe to cry. It's not funny at all.
  7. A poor attempt at comedy when the doctor tells Peter how his parrot died.
  8. Stewie is also unlikable because he kicks Brian in the stomach and leaves him on the floor to suffer in pain for no reason.
  9. This episode has too many plot changes. First it starts with Peter steals a parrot and becomes a pirate, then Chris and Anna hook up and start dating, and then Peter comforts Chris after Anna breaks up with him.
  10. This episode was a mediocre way to end Season 6.

Good Qualities

  1. Everything involving Peter as a pirate is really good.
    • The premise of Peter as a pirate was one of the best ideas from this show, but poorly executed due to reasons above.
  2. There are a handful of funny jokes in this episode:
    • The Hasbro's Best Thing Ever Cutaway was funny, especially the ending part of the cutaway when Stewie screams "I WANT THAT!!"
    • The bullfrog scene is funny despite it dragging on for way too long.
    • The final joke before the episode ended where Stewie shows up out of nowhere and kicks Brian was funny, despite Brian not deserving this treatment.
  3. Lois, Brian, Meg, Joe, and Anna are the only likeable characters in this episode.
  4. To some extent, the writers strike in 2007/2008 may have sabotaged the episode from being a full blown episode of 20 minutes of pirate action.
  5. The animation (which animated by Digital eMation) is good like always and the voice acting is still fantastic.


The episode has a 7.6/10 rating on IMDb.


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