Kill the Alligator and Run (The Simpsons)

"The entire time, the alligator was alive. The alligator was alive the entire time. Was the alligator alive the entire time? The alligator WAS alive the entire time. Alive the entire time, was the alligator. The. Alligator. Was. Alive. The. Entire. Time. Time entire the alive was alligator the. Alive time the alligator was the entire. The the time was entire alligator alive. THE. ALLIGATOR. WAS. ALIVE. THE. ENTIRE. TIME! Worst episode ever…"

- TheRealJims

Kill the Alligator and Run is the nineteenth episode of Season 11 of The Simpsons. It aired on April 30, 2000, with Diedrich Bader guest-starring as the sheriff, and Kid Rock, Robert Evans, Charlie Rose, and Joe C. as themselves.

Plot
Homer takes a quiz that ends up predicting his death in only three years, resulting in him having a nervous breakdown. The Simpsons take a vacation to Florida after being advised to by a psychiatrist. Little do they know, it is spring break when they arrive. After Homer is believed to have killed the state's alligator mascot, Captain Jack, the family needs to go into hiding to avoid getting arrested.

Why It Needs To "Get in The Pit and Try to Love Someone"

 * 1) The episode is extremely mean-spirited, even by even by The Simpsons's standards.
 * 2) It's a torture episode for the entire Simpson family.
 * 3) This episode's pacing is very erratic as the plot constantly changes throughout. It starts with Homer believing he only has three years to live to the family taking a vacation to Florida, to the family accidentally hitting an alligator named Captain Jack, to the family getting arrested, to the family getting a job at a restaurant, living in a trailer and turning into hillbilles, etc..all in 20+ minutes.
 * 4) The sheriff is an unlikeable character, as he arrests not only Homer but also his wife and children (including Maggie, a baby) for Captain Jack's "murder".
 * 5) * This also creates a continuity error, as Chief Wiggum mentioned in "Who Shot Mr. Burns?" that no state (other than possibly Texas) had the legal authority to prosecute a baby for attempted murder.
 * 6) The title is somewhat misleading, as Captain Jack is revealed to be alive the whole time at the end of the episode.
 * 7) * There was a deleted scene on the Season 11 DVD that shows various Florida people mourning Captain Jack's "death", which makes the revelation even more confusing.
 * 8) * Adding to that point, the sheriff didn't even bother to check if Captain Jack was still alive or not, instead choosing to arrest the whole family on the spot without any investigation.
 * 9) At no point do the Simpson family ever think to testify that they didn't mean to "kill" Captain Jack and that it happened by accident, nor do they apologize for the whole ordeal.
 * 10) There's a dumb running gag involving Homer singing Starship's "We Built This City".
 * 11) One scene features the family getting whipped for minor offenses. Homer even gets whipped just for listening to the sheriff talking.
 * 12) Neither the sheriff nor the state of Florida apologize for convicting the whole family of accidental murder and they get away scot-free for their unjustified actions.
 * 13) Awful ending: Even after Captain Jack shows up alive and well, the sheriff and the judge ban the whole family from visiting Florida ever again. When the Simpsons arrive home to choose a new vacation spot, it is revealed that they've been banned in every US state except North Dakota and Arizona (the latter of which Homer refuses to go to, complaining that it "smells funny"). To ban the Simpsons from visiting Florida again is one thing, but how did the judge convince almost the entirety of the United States (possibly even including Springfield's state) to ban the family from visiting any other state aside from North Dakota and Arizona?!
 * 14) * Even worse, the Simpsons treat it as no big deal.
 * 15) Kid Rock and Joe C.'s guest appearances are pointless, as they only show up during a concert (and Kid Rock mourns Captain Jack's "death" in a deleted scene) and don't appear again after that, not even to defend the Simpsons when they're prosecuted for attempted murder.

Redeeming Qualities

 * 1) The first half of the episode involving Homer's nervous breakdown is decent and could've worked as its own episode.
 * 2) The diner lady who says "I like that!" is a pretty entertaining and likable character.
 * 3) There's a clever nod to Logan's Run involving MTV veejays being replaced once they reach a certain age.

Reception
"Kill the Alligator and Run" is often considered one of the absolute worst episodes of the show even after two decades of its original airdate, and currently sits at a 6.6/10 rating on IMDB. NoHomers.net users ranked it as the worst episode of The Simpsons, where it stayed until 2011 when The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed took the number one slot.

Trivia

 * All of Joe C.'s lines were recorded over the phone, reportedly due to him being seriously ill at the time the episode was being produced.

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